Kids these days...!!!... naughty kids

A grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names. First up was Dan. A very adventurous child. "My name is Dan, When I grow up to be a man, I want to go to India and Japan , If I can, If I can, If I can. " "Very good", the teacher said to Dan. She then asked Sally that it was now her turn. "My name is Sally, When I grow up to be a lady, I want to have a baby If I can, if I can, if I can. " "That is good Sally," the teacher said. "But maybe one day you will change your mind." Next up was Glenn. He was the naughty one in the class. Here is his rhyme: "My name is Glenn, When I grow up to be a man, Never mind India and Japan , I'm gonna help Sally with her plan, I know I can, I can, I can. "

Raising Small Souls

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/wp-content/themes/179/form.html
Seen the movie Taare Zameen par??...... now see this
Really nicely done...worth a watch !!!

Thought of the moment .

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

WHY GOD MADE MOMS...

WHY GOD MADE MOMS All answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions : Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of ? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? I really like this one! 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could Change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd GET rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!

cool ads

The Fastest Thing - hehe

Fastest thing in the world Four guys, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT University and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE guy: Its light, nothing can travel faster than light. HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and it's hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose Motion !!! INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!! To' Bolo Tararara!!!

Shocking Telegrams

SHOCKING TELEGRAMS
TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearingB.Ed exams, which the father receives as :"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
*********************
TELEGRAM #2A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hillstation sends a telegram to his wife :"I wish you were here." The message received by wife:"I wish you were her."
*************************************
TELEGRAM #3A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railwaystation to return to her husband. At the reservation counter , while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady nextto her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old ladyand sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gavebirth to an old lady."
************************************
TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing aparty .So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks himwhat message he wants to put on the cake.Well he thinks for a while and says: let's put, "you arenot getting older you are getting better".The salesman asks "how do you want me to put it?"The man says, Well put "You are not getting older", at thetop and"You are getting better" at the bottom.The real fun didn't start until the cake was opened theentire party watched the message decorated on the cake:"You are not getting older at the top, You are gettingbetter at the bottom".
************************************************
TELEGRAM #5A man from Agra went to Ajmer . His wife was in herparent's house in Delhi . When the man went to Ajmer , he asked hisservant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer .He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted. It was written:'sethji aaj mar gaye ! ( Sethji Ajmer gaye ).

The Donkey :) U will love this - HAHAHAHA...

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN . The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free. The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day. MORAL OF THE STORY??? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

ANACONDA : Childs Play

FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY !!!!!!!!-Nice one

FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY !!!!!!!! Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday." The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion." The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.