Fart Joke !

From Reader Digest)

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it
became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up eating beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the
way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I
called my husband and told him that I would be late because
I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and
the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With
miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the
dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large
of baked beans.

the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for
dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to
chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he
about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had
consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
most unbearable, so while my husband was out of
the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one
leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled
like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
pulpwood mill.

took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me
vigorously.. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped
off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage.
my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the
other room, I went on like this for another few minutes...
pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have
been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long..

asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I
him I had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table
chorused: "Happy Birthday!"!! I nearly died!!!